Recovering from a traumatic birth
The birth of a baby is usually an exciting and positive experience for parents but sometimes it may be experienced as ‘traumatic’. The trauma may be physical (when injuries such as tears or muscle damage occur) or psychological (when it is stressful, frightening or distressing). The feelings of distress usually lessen with time but sometimes additional help is needed to restore your mental health.
Download Birth Trauma Fact Sheet
How common is psychological birth trauma?
We don’t really know how many parents experience psychological birth trauma but we do know that physical birth injuries are common and can affect mental health. It is estimated that as many as one in three people experience a traumatic birth.
What causes psychological birth trauma?
Parents may experience psychological birth trauma when things did not go the way they planned or the birth experience may be affected by events in your past. You are more likely to experience psychological birth trauma if:
- you have previously had traumatic experiences such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, rape and migrant trauma
- you have a mental health condition or have had one in the past
- you have previously had a physically traumatic birth and experienced a lot of pain in the time after the birth
- you have a fear of birth or had a pregnancy where additional monitoring was needed
- the birth did not go as you planned (for example you had an emergency caesarean section or instrumental birth)
- your baby is born too early or with health problems, or does not survive after birth.
What are the signs and symptoms of psychological birth trauma?
It is not unusual for it to take time to recover from psychological birth trauma and you may experience symptoms of distress for a few months. Common signs and symptoms of psychological birth trauma include:
- feeling dazed, agitated, overactive and/or withdrawn, disorientated, emotionally numb
- anxiety symptoms — increased heart rate, palpitations, sweating, jelly legs, “butterflies in stomach” and dry mouth
- depression and/or anxiety
- some blocked memories, or flashbacks from the birth
- feeling extremely alert or watchful
- nightmares
- trouble bonding with your baby
- fear of sexual intimacy.
When you are still experiencing these symptoms 3 months after the birth, it is time to seek help. This may be a sign of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Tips and strategies that may support your recovery from birth trauma
Recovering from a traumatic birth can take time, but there are a range of things that may help you to recover from a difficult birth experience.
1. Do not judge yourself
Whilst your hopes and plans for the birth may not have worked out, this is no reflection on you as a person or as a parent. Be proud of yourself for getting through the experience. It is completely natural to experience distress after such an event, so it is important to accept and acknowledge that you are likely to be in need of support at this time.
2. Seek practical support
If possible try to access help with the baby once you return home. Here partners, extended family and/or friends can play a vital role in assisting with everyday tasks which may be quite difficult – particularly if you have experienced any physical trauma or are recovering from a caesarian section.
3. Seek out and accept emotional support
Seek support particularly from people around you who are empathetic and able to care for and nurture you.
4. Acknowledge the feelings you may have toward your baby
Caring for your baby who has played a role in instigating the trauma that you have experienced, can be difficult. Given this situation, you may find that you feel quite detached from the baby or have negative feelings towards your baby. Try and view these feelings within the context of what has happened. Take the pressure off yourself and give yourself time.
5. Talk to someone about your experience of traumatic birth
If you find yourself feeling ongoing distress, when you are ready and able, talk to someone you trust about your experience, and don’t just wait and hope that the feelings will go away on their own. Although it can be hard to recall and recount your experience, this process may help you to contextualise what actually happened – as your memories may have become blurred.
By articulating what has happened, this can:
- Give you more insight into why and how things happened
- Give you the opportunity to express yourself and have your experience heard and acknowledged
- Bring you a sense of relief
- Reduce the likelihood of reliving the experience in your mind
- Reduce the likelihood that you continue to carry unpleasant feelings with you.
You may decide to talk to your partner, family member or a friend. Alternatively you may identify a health professional on the ward who you later feel comfortable talk to, or seek support outside of the hospital setting, such as a birth trauma counselling.
6. Consider the impacts upon your relationship
Birth trauma can have a negative impact upon your relationship, particularly if your partner has been traumatised as well. Experiencing trauma can, for example, create confusion, distance and distress between a couple, and they can unknowingly continue to trigger each other long after the event. Relationship counselling can assist in these situations, by helping each partner to understand and learn how to respond to the other in a caring and supportive way, and ultimately support recovery.
7. Try and obtain details of what actually happened
This can give you insight into what interventions were used and why. Whilst this may be painful to relive, it can help you to ‘fill in the blanks’, feel a sense of relief and closure. You can do this for example by talking to, or going through your notes with your midwife or obstetrician.
If you would rather look at your notes on your own or with another health professional you may be able to get access to your medical records. The Office of the Australian Information Commissioner can help you work out how to go about making a request.
8. Do not blame yourself
Know that gradually your feelings about your baby will change and become more positive with time.
9. Make a formal complaint
If you feel that your trauma was caused by inadequate care by the healthcare professionals, making a formal complaint can also provide you with some sense of being heard and legitimising your experience. You can also consider reporting your complaint to the professional body which that professional is likely to be registered with. Give yourself time. Recovering from trauma and grief take time.
10. Be gentle on yourself
Any feelings of guilt, grief or difficulties connecting with your baby that you may experience are understandable given what you may have experienced. Be proud of yourself for surviving the experience.
11. Give yourself time
It is common for parents to respond to this experience by coming to the conclusion that they will be unlikely to have more children in the future. Given your experience, this is understandable. However, often with time you may grow more confident to embark on having more children in the future.
Advice for family and friends providing support
Listen and reassure
- Encourage the woman to discuss her symptoms.
- Explain that mental health symptoms can be treated and managed.
Provide information
- Give the woman good quality information about psychological birth trauma, such as this fact sheet.
- Give details of helplines if she is feeling distressed and needs support.
- Offer information to the woman’s partner/others.
Direct to care and support
- Encourage the woman to talk to her GP or other health professional.
- Encourage the woman to identify and draw on possible supports and services that may be available to her for practical and/or emotional support.
- Remind the woman that she can go to her doctor or local hospital if she is at risk of harming herself or others.
Download Birth Trauma Fact Sheet
When is it time to get further help?
Fortunately most women and men are able to recover from birth trauma, and this is more likely when they have social support (especially from their partner) and have reduced other stressors to enable them the time and space to recover.
For others however, the trauma experience can linger and may lead you or your partner to experience a condition called post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
If you are still experiencing symptoms two weeks after the birth, it is a good idea to talk to your maternal and child health nurse or your GP to see how you are going and whether treatment would be helpful. This may include counselling, or other treatments if your symptoms are more severe.
You can also find a health professional skilled in treating birth trauma on our eCOPE directory.
