Your relationship with your partner

Your relationship with your partner most certainly will change as there are new, and competing priorities. Suddenly needing to put the needs of the baby first in itself is a big adjustment. There will naturally be new responsibilities and less time for yourselves as individuals, as well as less time as a couple.

The reduced amount of available time and energy to focus on your relationship with your partner can leave you both feeling at times, distant and disconnected. In some cases, your partner may seem primarily focussed on the baby, and may leave you feeling somewhat left out, and even resentful.

The arrival of your baby is also likely to mean that your partner seems overly focussed on the needs of the baby, and can cause partners to feel somewhat left out.  The demands of a newborn and greater focus on parenting may leave your partner feeling overly tired, and she may feel depleted and unable to give more of herself to others at times. Don’t take this personally, it is all part of meeting the demands at the time, and with time things should begin to settle down.

There is also likely to be changes to your sex life as you and/or your partner have reduced energy and time for intimacy. Parenthood may alter the way you view sexuality, and at times your partner may have little or no interest or energy in sex. These are not unusual. Try not to take it as a personal rejection as your partner may feel that she has already had so much physical contact (with the baby) and just needs some space. Try to see it as part of a transition phase which may take some time. Talk about how you are both feeling, but be prepared to give things time.

When at times the relationship may seem distant or strained, try to keep in mind that this is all a natural response to the adjustment to parenthood which affects time availability, competing needs and new priorities. Give it time, and build on what you have as a couple. It is a phase that will become less demanding as the baby grows and becomes more independent. As things begin to settle, try and make time as individuals and as a couple, to regroup and reconnect with yourself and each other.